The Gift in Fear and Anxiety


Our uncomfortable and painful emotions all contain gifts waiting for us to discover them. As we work through these "negative" feelings, we unwrap these healing and awakening gifts. Growth is not about fighting, conquering, or eliminating these emotions, It's about embracing them. And with fear that can be scary!

We want to learn how to overcome fear in a way that avoids it or overpowers it. But the way to overcome fear is actually to connect with it, embrace it, and allow it to transform.

The gift of fear brings us wisdom, courage, excitement and safety.

What Is Fear?
Fear is not wanting to see or be seen, not wanting to be in the present moment.

Physically it's a contraction. If fear was a person he/she would be small, thin, tense, shrinking, closed, An introvert, He/she would be thinking hard and fast, might be in hiding, or running away from something. In extreme fear there is paralysis...frozen in terror. A lifetime of the cold of fear can be thawed out - I've seen this take place at our retreats where people feel safe enough to begin the process of working through fear and other stuck feelings. And as a person warms up and slows down they come back down to earth and enter the healing power of the present moment.

With fear, the focus is in the brain and nervous system which are over-energized. We are afraid to see and know.Thoughts speed by, racing around and around, although with intense fear the brain can go numb,

Fear pulls us into the future...what is going to happen next, what is going to harm us.

Fear is a reaction to something that may be harmful to us.

One of the gifts of fear in its raw form (as opposed to worked through) is that it acts as a warning of potential harm to ourselves or those that are close to us. As such, it's an early warning system that can protect us from violence. A great book on this subject is called The Gift of Fear, written by Gaven de Becker. Fear can help us sense violence before it happens and take appropriate action to protect ourselves.

But fear is even more valuable as we recognize it as a feeling that we can transform and grow from.

What Is Anxiety?
Anxiety is closely related to fear and has the same body symptoms and personality type. Anxiety is always about the future, and it steals the present moment from us even though that is the only place we ever are and the only place where there is true safety and energy. For more on anxiety and how to work with it go to our Anxiety Page.

What is the Gift of Fear?

  • Expansion
  • Wisdom, Insight, Clarity, "Ahas"
  • Excitement, Energy
  • Relaxation and Ease
  • Courage
  • Present Moment Awareness
  • Spiritual Awakening

Of all the feelings fear and anxiety are the most holy. Arriving at the present moment in all its glory. The gift of fear, its greatest gift of all is Love. Often, after someone at our retreats has done a particularly deep piece of grief work, there is a sense of vastness, silence and energy that the word Love can begin to embrace.

Working Through Fear and Anxiety
My work helps clients through fear, anxiety and other challenging emotions to find the gifts hidden inside of stuck emotions. We do this work primarily at our retreats, and provide support in integrating these gifts in daily life through one-on-one counseling. If you want to learn more about how to overcome fear go to the Grief and Loss Retreat or contact me.


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